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Next-door's cat

Oh dear me!

My mother’s up a tree!

She tried to rescue next-door’s cat

And now she’s stuck, you see!


Oh dear you!

Whatever can you do?

To make sure that she doesn’t fall,

Spray the branch with glue!



Oh dear us!

What a lot of fuss!

The branch has fallen off the tree

And landed on a bus!


The bus is off to market,

And then it’s off to town:

My mother’s still up on the roof –

She can’t get down!


The driver won’t stop driving;

He says he mustn’t stop

Even if he’s got a crazy

Woman on the top.


Lights!  Red!  Brake!  Stop!

Slip!  Slide!  Sorry!

My mother’s landed underneath

A ten ton lorry!


My mother’s now in casualty:

She’s looking rather flat –

And all because she tried to rescue

Next-door’s cat!


They’ve operated on my Mum;

It’s made me feel quite bad,

But now they say she can go home.

What will we say to Dad?


We’re sitting on the sofa

With a cup of tea

When my Dad comes through the door,

As weary as can be.


“Oh dear Dad!

You’re going to go mad

When we try to tell you

The kind of day we’ve had.”


My Dad flops on the sofa

And looks across at us.

He wants to know the reason why

We’re making so much fuss.


“I’ve worked hard in a factory

That’s noisy, dark and smelly!

While you’ve been sat at home all day

Watching daytime telly!”


“But… Cat!  Branch!  Glue!  Crash!

Bus!  Lorry!  Flat!”

My Mum is shouting out

And frightens next-door’s cat.


The cat runs round the garden

And scrambles up a tree,

Then sits upon the highest branch

For all the world to see.


Oh dear cat!

Looks like you’re stuck!

Waiting to be rescued??

..... HARD LUCK!



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